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I think that, if there was actually any trace of divinity in the world, any kind of sign that a superior force (whatever you turds are calling it, these days) is watching above us, we would be able to notice it in music.

Call me absurd, 'cause I know you will, but I think that if there was actually a deity operating above us, he'd show us that the presence of forces unknown is real, by giving music a material shape.

That's what it would take to make a believer out of me.

Punk music should look like whips, hanging from the ceiling, hitting you in the face as you dance and take it with a grin on your lips. You'd be gulping beer by gallons and laughing at the floor collapsing right beneath you.

Rock music would be like a chimera, with a thousand faces and bodies, that change at will, and scratch you right in the back of your neck, giving you goosebumps from time to time. He'd sometimes feel nostalgic, when remembering the days when he used to look like a seven mile snake, and scare the hell out of suited burocrats, with silver tongues and linen socks.

Surf music would be a hamack, blindfolding and swinging you in perfect synchrony to the waves of the sea, keeping you from looking at the green whales floating two meters above the ground, that rip the heads of those who won't dance, with a clean, surgical bite.

Music would also leave a trace on you; some kind of stain or specific smell, like if you'd been to a bukkake and forgot to wash up. That way, people would know if you've been to a great gig, without you needing to tell them.

Relationships would come as an intuitive process, where you'd just hang out with the people's whose smell you can relate to. 'Oh, that girl smells like armpit and Bossanova; I think I'll stick with her for a while'.

No more endless arguing with some brainless, hormone-filled, My Chemical Romance fan. None of the same pointless crap that makes us fight over meaningless stuff.

And it there was any kind of justice, any sign that things can actually work out properly in the world, God would make Pop Music in the shape of a thousand, pink coloured, needles that stick right into your ears, forehead and armpits, and dig their way into your brain, where they turn your eyes pale and make you wish you had a car and sixty pairs of sneakers you don't actually need.

I don't care if it becomes dangerous enought for it to be forbidden or not, I just wanna see those tasteless Shakira-worshipping monkeys pay for all those times I had to put up with their crap.

Now, ask me why I'm the biggest atheist there is.